My nanny Joyce repeated one very serious statement, and always with a sharp grin. She’d say ‘mind your own business’. I used to look at her and know she was the wisest creature on this earth and my senses always told me she strived for our moral good. Now I ponder statements like these and I not only see the reality but the importance of these little gifts.
Would you ever go ‘mind your own business’, when said like that - receivers sometimes think it's a rude statement, critical or even judgemental. Then it could be said to you in a nicer softer tone like ‘mind your own beeswax’. But whatever way it sounds, these wise words are for your own benefit. The best thing we can do in life is ‘mind our own business’. Now I know the secret, what my nanny was really telling was to look after myself, care about my own needs, mind and nourish my own business first and foremost. When you flip it around it’s actually a very positive statement and we should be reminding ourselves of this constantly. In three simple steps I’m going to explain how we can mind our own business successfully.
The first step is RESPONSIBILTY.
We need to take stock of where we are now. We need to take responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings and our actions. If what you’re thinking, what you’re saying and what you’re doing don't match. As a person you are not in integrity. To get these into alignment you need to care about how you feel more than anything else. And remember it’s an inside job. My mother, another wise woman always advocated that you should ‘spend so much time improving yourself that you don’t have time to criticize others’. This was drilled into me and it is powerful. The more time your nose is in someone else’s business, that’s energy your taking away from building yourself up. Imagine our potential when we decide to take responsibility and start to evolve.
This brings me to the second step, EVOLVE.
I feel it is true what they say, if you’re not growing your dieing. We need to free ourselves from blaming others or blaming society for our current situation. We all have the capability of being a Hitler or a Mother Teresa, it is easy to forget. We all have the potential for good or bad BUT you certainly don't have to hold yourself hostage to who you used to be or what you used to do. You chose the next step, why not try choosing your next best step. Our real work is to figure out who we are and where our power base is, what are we curious about, what are our passions. We should be aiming to be the highest, truest expression of ourselves. Those who we look up to or admire are just a little further down the path to the most honest expression of who they are.
The third and final step is about learning the ability to DUCK.
As we evolve so does our consciousness. We quickly start to recognize the people who aren’t growing at the same pace as us. They won’t understand the change they see in us and this is when we remember our DUCK tactic. DUCK means to Dodge Underdeveloped Consciousness Kindly. You don't have to feel guilty, you can’t enlighten everyone you meet, you are simply minding your own business. Naturally we will want to help others but before we engage in the business of another we should have a clear sense of our self. Without this we can’t be of that much good to another. This is simply your preparation, prepare to be like that person you admire so much who shines their own light, and runs their own race, and in doing so helps others to shine theirs. When you completely honour yourself you’ll sense when a storm is going to cross your path, and your preparation will allow you to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.
To recap, I’ve said it enough - our aim is to mind our own business and in order to succeed in doing so our strategy is code RED. Think Red. Responsibility: take responsibility for your actions, you are free to chose them. Evolve: evolve each day into a better you, express yourself. And DUCK: if necessary, Dodge Underdeveloped Consciousness Kindly.
Now I’m going to finish by getting us all to take one step towards personal growth and power. All I want you to do is to sit back, listen attentively and visualize where you might see yourself in this autobiography by Portia Nelson.
At the end of her life a lady was given five pieces of paper and asked to describe her life in 5 stages. This is what she wrote.
Part 1 - I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the path. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find the way out.
Part 2 - I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the path. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I cant believe I am in this same place but it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
Part 3 - I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the path. I see it is there. I fall in. It's a habit but my eyes are open. I know where I am. It’s my fault, I get out immediately.
Part 4 - I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the path. I walk around it.
Part 5 - I walk down a different street.
“There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk: Autobiography In Five Short Chapters” ~ Portia Nelson